Camping
Memories, self-discovery, and Sunrises
I have never been a camper. I did have a little pup-tent as a child and used it in my yard. I often played a camping game. We would set up the tent and pretend to have a camping experience. We'd pretend to cook, make a pretend campfire and then go to bed in the tent. After a few minutes of “sleep" a new day would begin and we would take down the tent, hike around our yard and find a new place set up camp. I never found it boring and loved putting up and taking down the tent. On a hot summer day, you really couldn't lay in the tent for too long. It was stifling.
When I was seven, my family bought a summer home in Door County. (South of Egg Harbor for those who know the place.) Our running water was pumped up from the lake. For drinking water, we either bought bottles at the store, or my sister and I hiked up the 700 foot driveway, crossed the road and pumped water into the bottles from our neighbors well. I was fascinated with the Werkheiser's little farm where they sold vegetables and homemade desserts and cinnamon rolls. (They are still there. Now they sell plants. They have a Facebook page.1) Giant magical tomatoes laid out neatly on a table, a greenhouse hot and steamy in the summer sun, and their little house dark and shaded to keep it cool.
I never really thought of myself as a camper because I never really went camping. I remember a fall girl scout camping trip that ended early because the leaders were cold and the weather wasn’t great. I went to Imago Day Camp for a week the summer after 5th grade. We slept in Teepees. I loved most of it except for the end when I had a visit from Aunt Flow.
Years passed, and I said I wasn’t a camper. Fast forward 50 years and I bought myself a little clamshell travel trailer and started camping. The funny thing is that the little pup tent was orange, and the camper I purchased is orange and white.
This summer I went camping for a long weekend each month. I went twice in May. I'm on my last trip for the season. It's just two nights. I'm with friends.
Most of my other trips, except to Michigan were solo trips.
I've learned another thing about myself this year. I guess first and foremost that while I thought I wasn't a camper, I actually was. I just needed to rediscover that part of myself.
Early this year, I won a copy of the book Tough Broad by Caroline Paul.2 It's about aging woman doing really cool stuff. I loved this book. It's so empowering for woman. I kept thinking if these woman can do the things they are doing, I certainly can do the things I keep dreaming about.
In truth, I wasn't really dreaming about camping, I was dreaming about going places, being by the water and experiencing life. I felt the need for it like I felt the need for oxygen, food, and water.
In Human Design, I'm a Manifesting Generator. My design shows many places where I need alone time (gate 40 and my channel 20/34 are two of the biggies) to rejuvenate, to integrate what I've learned, and to slow down before taking next steps.
I've learned that no matter how much I care about my family, that not taking care of myself, is detrimental to my physical, social and emotional well-being. And that's not good for family.
My little 2-4 day getaways gave me time to be with me. Once I felt comfortable with my camper setup, being in new surroundings, and checking out new places, I was able to reconnect with me. I made tasty meals without worrying about what other people wanted to eat, I didn't eat if I wasn't hungry, I rode my bike, I hiked, I swam in the lake, I built campfires, and I began to make art. I drew kids on the beach, Seagulls, and my friends. I got up the courage to draw people at Navy Pier on a trip into Chicago.
Basically, I stopped worrying about getting it right, or the possibility that someone might look over my shoulder, and just did what made me feel good.
I was super scared to first make the purchase of the camper, then to learn how to pull it and back it into a spot, then to hook everything up and get settled. It was all new, but I’m a tough smart, pretty freaking incredible broad, And I've done it.
I share all this here because, I know there are people, like me, who dream and have needs and sometimes get stuck in fear or thinking they aren't capable. But, I spent the summer proving how incredibly capable I am, and I know you are too.
Go, follow your dreams. Don't let old stories dictate who you are. Rediscover those parts of you that feel missing. The parts that come to you in dreams. Be messy and imperfect, you will discover the perfect in you. You were divinely created and you are meant to live in joy. I'd love to hear about your dreams. I'd love to hear about what dreams you have made come true.
https://www.facebook.com/werkgreenacres
https://amzn.to/4feaBBD (affiliate link in which I may make a little money, but it doesn't cost you any more than the price of the book.
Great post. I'm kind of at that stage of my life, too. You can live with someone but not for them. You have to live your own life. Love your robin, by the way.